Being Comfortable in our Skin
I’m going to let you in on one of life’s best kept secrets, one that really you need to know before its to late: You are beautiful today, tomorrow and the day after that; in fact you were so, yesterday as well.
How many of us have looked in the mirror and thought, in fact wished - if only I was…taller, skinnier, toned, more tanned, lighter skinned, had curly hair, has straight hair - the list goes on and on.
When I was young I used to say to my Mum “I hate my curly hair “ (now I had truly wildly curly hair; no I mean even curlier than what ever image you just pictured) As like all Mothers, her loving and tender response was “Bella darling, there are people out there with far worse problems than curly hair, you are beautiful, darling”.
It’s taken me 52 years, but I now get it, I feel compelled to share my `be comfortable` epiphany.
So I had curly hair, and wanted straight hair. When I approached 40 years-of-age, I was developing laugh lines on my face, I wished I were turning 30.
When it happened at 30, I wondered where had my youth had gone?
Throughout I was always beautiful, just a different version of me but still beautiful and unique but didn’t think it.
Ladies we need to see our reflection and admire what we see, we need to observe our values and individualism. Exclaim on how great you feel, say “I’m happy with exactly what I have and who I am, I love every inch of who I am”.
We are all different shapes and sizes, we all have different stories to tell – genetics are what they are. Each and every wrinkle, each flaw, and stretchmark represents our personal life journey, a voyage that is personal and like no other. You have lived like no other, you have experienced like no other women has, yours is unique, appreciate this fact.
At a young age, our mothers instilled our social graces; ones that I’ve now come to swear by, in fact take pride in.
Mothers encourage the value of a smile when walking by, even if the passersby doesn’t smile back.
They exposed that picking up the phone to tell someone you were thinking of him or her can turn his or her bad day into a better one.
Mine impressed upon me `to do you’re utmost to be nice` after all everyone is going through something.
Mums teach us that hatred can be offset with grace and kindness.
Yet most importantly, and the greatest gift that our dear Mothers give us is simply this - `hurtful and passive aggressive remarks towards us are really a reflection of how someone feels about themselves`.
Strangely, we`re are often tearing at the very fabric of our own self- worth with self-loathing. For far to many reasons (most of which are just cruel or I find to be absurd), we women are our own worst critics, in far too much detail and to often we point out other women’s flaws.
We are the biggest critic’s, women, of other women.
Lets lead an uprising, it stops here it stops now. Its time; time to take our Mothers loving words to heart and to task – the time has come for a new way to think, act and behave. The `Being Comfortable` revelation has begun.
I encourage you to be gentler on yourselves and most importantly `NO MORE JUDGING`; judging our fellow womenfolk or adjudicating ourselves as perfect or not. So lets start by being 10% nicer to others.
If you are judging your look from a magazine picture, please remember the photo is shopped? Also its ok that size 8’s may not fit anymore, you have replaced it with your journey, your story, with amazing life experiences like giving birth or becoming more womanly with a sexy real life figure.
Instead, of self judgement lets treat our bodies with respect; understand what your body needs to perform at its best, feed it valued healthy choices, exercise it through smart options and care for it, but most importantly `love it`. Live this life this lifestyle and your body will pay you back twofold, it will do what it was designed to do... workout because you respect your body not because you hate it.
We as women put so much pressure on ourselves, when our men say we are gorgeous we don’t believe them, but what I’ve discovered is that the relationship I have with myself is at the core of how content and comfortable I will ever be or could be.
The more you realise to respect yourself, the more you’re able to love yourself – it’s as simple as that.
Honour your body; as importantly be in relationships and friendships where they too honour you, honour your look and the expression of who you are. Be with a partner that loves you and thinks you are perfect in your imperfection, as mine does. He sees and loves my faults, flaws and imperfections with all his heart and says so.
What grander form can there be than expressing self-respect and treating your body with love and loving your body?
You are most welcomed to join my revolution; our mantra is simply this:
Stop trying to impress others. If you’re busy trying to impress, you’ll never find the time to get to know how to tickle your own curiosities.
Never speak negatively about yourself to others or the mirror
Recognize the harm of being your own worst critic
We will travel an `enlightening discovery` together and have the key to our own kingdom of self-happiness, built on the foundations of confidence and self worth; and yes we`re flawed but also fabulous.
Eleonora Hawkins - founder of Women’s Fitness For All & advocate of the `being comfortable` revolution
If tomorrow, women woke up and decided they really liked their bodies, just think how many industries would go out of business. – Gail Dines